BREAKING: Christianity revealed as Jewish prank
In a breathtaking announcement today, Rabbi Soyvitch Goldberginsky told a slightly confused gathering of End Timers at a How to Dress for the Rapture: Boxers, Briefs or Dangler’s Puffery seminar in Las Vegas, Nevada that the basis for their religion, the founding gospels of the New Testament were in fact part of an elaborate gag perpetrated by “…a few wisenheimers back in the day. The guys were sitting around, tossing shrimp at pigs for who-knows-why, when one of them says “Hey, what if we say that God shtupped a zaftig and Jr. will give everyone a Get Out of Hell card? And they will have to sing ass-kissing songs and feel bad a lot of the time, just like us.”Isn't this kind of similar to Nietzsche's conception Christianity: a vehicle for spreading slave morality and ressentiment to the gentiles?
Of course, there's a lot more to Christianity than belief in the idea that "God shtupped a zaftig", but that is a central tenet of orthodox (with a lower-case "o") Christianity. And it is pretty funny. And also pretty un-original, as far as mythology goes. Gods had been shtupping zaftigs and goddesses had been getting shtupped by whatever the male equivalent of a zaftig is long before the great monotheistic shtupping allegedly took place.