Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I'm surprised they don't carry these already

Walmart to test Bible action figures in US:
Wal-Mart said Tuesday it will test sales in some stores of biblical action figures whose makers say they are aimed at Christian parents who prefer their children play with Samson, David or Noah rather than with a comic book character or Bratz doll.


One2believe Chief Executive David Socha said his products were part of a "battle for the toy box" with dolls and figures that he said carry negative messages.

"If you're very religious, it's a battle for your children's minds and what they're playing with and pretending. There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things," Socha said.

I don't suppose it's occurred to them that Satan is a biblical character. I bet that if they included a Satan figure in their toy lineup, it would sell better than some obscure Old Testament prophet. I'd also like Leviathan and Behemoth action figures (from Job); they would make good D&D monsters. The figures from Revelation would be pretty weird looking, and might frighten young children. I also think there should be a scantily clad Salome (complete with seven removable veils), and dolls depicting the hot and sexy lovers in Song of Songs. Then the toys might actually be cool. But I'm sure they'll pick only very boring characters that don't translate well into action figures.

Maybe D&D Miniatures should come out with some biblical characters. It would be cool to have combat stats for David and Goliath. Then they should come out with miniatures for characters from other faith traditions. And then you could have them fight each other. That would be awesome. It would spark huge arguments about which figures should be able to beat which other figures, and whether they are appropriately costed or not, and how the game designers are so prejudiced against this or that religion, etc. I get excited thinking how offended people would get.

Unfortunately, I don't think my religion, Unitarian Universalism, would be a good source for either action figures or D&D Miniatures. Somehow, the prospect of having my Thomas Starr King figure fight my Ralph Waldo Emerson does not get my adrenaline pumping.


Blogger Tormen Tagain said...

I wonder what they'll do with Mary Magdalene. That in itself could stir a bit of the 'ol ultra-controversy eh?
I want my D&D BAlor lord to pay her for services while her husband, Mr.J throws some smite around.
good post dude.


10:40 AM, July 18, 2007  
Blogger Heraldblog said...

My daughter has a wooden Noah's Ark set, with little wooden animals marching two by two. One day I saw her marching two Triceratops onto the ark, next to the elephants and giraffes. I didn't occur to me that she's a latent fundie.

7:36 PM, July 18, 2007  
Blogger grishnash said...

OK, I also got this from slacktivist, but here's something you can play while you're waiting for your action figures: Bible Fight

7:48 AM, July 19, 2007  

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