Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Prurient interest in Purity Balls

C'mon, admit it. You can't get enough Purity Ball porn! To slake your thirst for information on this very real phenomenon, I give you the vow the girl's father says, straight from the Focus on the Family website:
 
 I, (daughter’s name)’s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.
 
Pardon me while I channel Butthead for a moment: "Huh huh... he said God is going to make people come...huh huh."
 
High priest in my home! Yeah, that's the ticket. Unfortunately, my unborn child is a boy, so I won't be able to participate in such a wonderful ritual. I'm still totally going to be the high priest though. I'm going to get a mitre and some incense and channel the Holy Spirit--oh wait, I'm an atheist. Damn. I can still wear a mitre, though, can't I? Maybe there's a Unitarian Universalist mitre (alas, Google didn't turn up anything). I want a staff and a stained glass window, too. That way everyone will know I'm the high priest. That would totally rock.
 
For those of you who want still more satire on this subject, I refer you to this Diary on Kos: Supercute Summer Fashion Guide for Good Girls.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Sarah said...

Reading about this stuff is like driving by a car accident. Just have to look, even though it is SO disturbing. I loved the Daily Kos Diary.

10:21 PM, May 18, 2006  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Internal Monologue home