We are Unitarian Universalists...
...Resistance is futile...You will be assimilated.
[WARNING: SHAMELESS PROSELYTIZING]
Why might you be assimilated? Because you may be a Unitarian Universalist, and just not know it yet! Take the good ol' belief-o-matic test and see. (I'm sure you've done the belief-o-matic before, it's been bounced around the 'net about a zillion times.) I'm convinced that UUism is highly compatible with the geeky demographic of my readership (all 6 of you, but there will be more soon!). To be fair, I suspect UUism comes ranked highly in many belief-o-matic results because UUism is compatible with a fairly wide set of beliefs.
Here are some Unitarian Universalist jokes:
Q: Why are Unitarian Universalists such lousy hymn singers?
A: Because they're always scanning ahead to see whether they agree with the lyrics or not.
Q: How do you know you've angered the Unitarian Universalist branch of the KKK?
A: You look outside one morning and find a burning question mark on your lawn.
A Unitarian Universalist died, and to his surprise discovered that there was indeed an afterlife. The angel in charge of these things told him, "Because you were an unbeliever and a doubter and a skeptic, you will be sent to Hell for all eternity -- which, in your case, consists of a place where no one will disagree with you ever again!"
Here are my results on the belief-o-matic:
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%) [Of course!]
2. Secular Humanism (98%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (90%)
4. Liberal Quakers (87%)
5. Nontheist (72%)
6. Neo-Pagan (69%)
7. Theravada Buddhism (67%)
8. Reform Judaism (60%)
9. Baha'i Faith (58%)
10. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (57%)
11. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (53%)
12. New Age (52%)
13. Taoism (51%)
14. New Thought (50%)
15. Sikhism (46%)
16. Scientology (45%)
17. Mahayana Buddhism (40%)
18. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (40%)
19. Orthodox Quaker (34%)
20. Jehovah's Witness (30%)
21. Eastern Orthodox (23%)
22. Islam (23%)
23. Jainism (23%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (23%)
25. Roman Catholic (23%)
26. Hinduism (23%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (20%)
2. Secular Humanism (98%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (90%)
4. Liberal Quakers (87%)
5. Nontheist (72%)
6. Neo-Pagan (69%)
7. Theravada Buddhism (67%)
8. Reform Judaism (60%)
9. Baha'i Faith (58%)
10. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (57%)
11. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (53%)
12. New Age (52%)
13. Taoism (51%)
14. New Thought (50%)
15. Sikhism (46%)
16. Scientology (45%)
17. Mahayana Buddhism (40%)
18. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (40%)
19. Orthodox Quaker (34%)
20. Jehovah's Witness (30%)
21. Eastern Orthodox (23%)
22. Islam (23%)
23. Jainism (23%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (23%)
25. Roman Catholic (23%)
26. Hinduism (23%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (20%)
Comments
Now that's a fight I'd pay a pay-per-view fee to see!
Liberal Christians to UUs: You're just a watered down version of us! You stole all our hymns and made the lyrics more wishy-washy! You don't even believe in anything!
UUs to Liberal Christians: We're everything you always wanted from Christianity, without all the ridiculous metaphysical claptrap that you still half-heartedly ask your congregations to swallow!
I don't really know enough about Thereveda Buddhism to do that fight justice.