Kremlin operator? This is the Call of Cthulhu...
Vladimir Putin took time out of his busy schedule to discuss the issues the Russian people really care about--robots, sex, and Cthulhu. Putin doesn't remember the first time he had sex, he believes that robots will defend Russia's borders, and he encourages kids to steer clear of Cthulhu...Hear that, kids? Religious books, not The Necronomicon, got that?
Asked about the possible awakening of the giant mythical octopus Cthulhu, the fourth-most popular question among the more than 150,000 sent to Putin, he said that he believed something more serious was behind the question. Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.
Putin said he viewed mysterious forces with suspicion and advised those who took them seriously to read the Bible, Koran or other religious books.
Also, how could a question about Cthulhu be the fourth most popular question among the more than 150,000 sent to Putin?!? WTF!?!? Was there some sort of concerted effort on the part of the Old Ones to make this happen? Maybe “the stars were right” or something. Or maybe H. P. Lovecraft has a lot more fans active in Russian politics than I thought. Someone freeped a poll somewhere.
Speaking of Cthulhu, the “Davy Jones” character from the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie totally looks like a pirate Cthulhu. “I’m a soul-destroying Great Old One… AARRRRRRRR!” I’m seeing the movie tomorrow, so I’ll be able to tell you if he talks and acts like a pirate Cthulhu, too. There are some parallels: Davy Jones is sailor slang for the bottom of the sea, which is presumably where Cthulhu lies dreaming in sunken Rel’yeh. And the classic pirate has become an easily mocked, ridiculous cliché, and so, alas, has Cthulhu.