Saturday, November 25, 2006

If you thought YOUR gaming group was bad...

...listen to some of the people this person has gamed with. WARNING: Very disgusting imagery. Don't follow that link or read this post if you vomit from disgusting depictions of human beings. I probably shouldn't link to this, as it perpetuates the stereotype of gamers as complete reject fuck-ups. I suspect these portraits are fictional. But some things are just too gross to pass up. Here's a sample:
Dr. Disgusting
This clown. Ewww... Makes my flesh crawl just remembering. Outwardly, he looked fine. In shape, well groomed, clean, drove a nice car. He played in Fat Nasty's group, and his eyes got all glittery and he began to lick his lips and smack them like he was eating something good whenever combat started. He also wanted intense descriptions of what the dead NPC's looked like after a combat. He stripped them, not to search them, but to ask what the dead bodies looked like. He always played Cyberdocs, Cleric/Necromancers, and the like, and kept collecting "the best parts" of female corpses. I never asked him what the 'best parts" were, since I had a feeling I knew the answer.[...]

The Incredible Filthy Perverted Chick
Because her back and arms and breasts and face were covered with huge zits that looked like cysts. She would often squeeze them into her palm and lick her palm clean. I mean, seriously, it looked like she was squeezing a white chocolate Hershey's kiss into her hand and licking it off. brrrrrr... She had brown crusted dreadlocks, greyish looking skin, hairy armpits and legs and shoulders, and she didn't wash a pair of black levi's she bled through one time for a week. I kid you not, there was this dried crusty blood stain on the ass, crotch and inner thighs of the pants. One of the girls mentioned it, and she replied that pads and tampons were just devices invented by men to destroy women's natural majik (you could hear the damn spelling) and she wouldn't fall for it.
Then, she decided that not only was she a witch and the reencarnation of some long dead probably never alive anyway mythical druidaic priestess who once ruled over the entire Ireland druid religion until a Roman assassin killed her because she refused to marry Julius Ceaser, she decided she was a nympho.

She went after Fat Nasty's group first, thank all the Gods ever imangined, that ever existed, ever will exists, and maybe even some that don't. She asked me if I wanted a blowjob, I asked her if she wanted tasered in the crotch. She thought about it and said "Maybe." and I ducked away and hid behind my wife until she went back into the stock room.

You do not want to know what we heard about coming from the stock room, what once in awhile some of us walked into, or what she invited some of us to do with her. Oh, my GAWD! Cthullu himself would run off screaming and burn off his genitals with a book of matches rather than EVER want to consider the digusting things we accidently saw over a course of 6 months.

That line about Chthulhu is so excellent.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doobluh post.

9:49 AM, November 25, 2006  

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