Friday, June 30, 2006

Dobson: Liberals more powerful than God

Wow! I was worried that conservatives were taking over the country. But I don’t have to, because apparently, Liberal judges are more powerful than God! Now, you might be skeptical of this statement, coming from an atheist like myself. And for an atheist to say it doesn’t really mean much: of course a Liberal judge (who exists) is more powerful than God (who doesn’t). But it isn’t me who’s saying it. It’s the king of wingnut theism himself, James Dobson, on CNN.com (HT: Sullivan):
If the battle to protect marriage takes even five more years, liberal judges and activists will have destroyed this 5,000-year-old institution, which was designed by the Creator, Himself. Even now, they are close to achieving that coveted objective.
Wow. So if I understand this correctly, unless the American Constitution is amended to exclude marriage for homosexuals within five years, marriage as an institution will be destroyed. It will be destroyed by liberal judges and activists (and bloggers? Can I be part of the marriage destruction club, too?) And this will happen despite the fact that it was created by an omnipotent being (whose existence I’m sure Dobson believes in).

All I can say is, I want my money back from the County of Alameda. My wife and I paid good money for our marriage license, under the assumption that it was valid indefinitely. But now Dobson tells me that unless a certain political event transpires within five years (and all the pundits say it’s highly unlikely), this license won’t mean squat. (Of course, according to the Catholic Church, it doesn’t mean squat even now, but I’ve already offended one of my best readers by dwelling too much on that subject.) And what about all the money we spent on our wedding? Will we have to give back the place settings? Can we still wear the rings? How devastated my wife will be when I have to refer to her just as “my girlfriend” again. Unless the institution of girlfriend-boyfriend is going to be destroyed by liberal activists, too. Oh no! But maybe that’s OK, since I’m not sure if the institution of boyfriend-girlfriend was designed by “the Creator, Himself”. Maybe it was just one of the archangels. In which case even a moderate judge might have enough Satanic power to destroy it.

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